As your mother

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It's very rewarding to see you finally embraced Thai massage legacy with such passion on your own.

 

I am not a millionaire mother. I do not have a lot of material wealth to give you. Except leaving you this Thai heritage for your future endeavors and livelihood after I left the planet.

 

As you aging, you want to let this heritage distinctive, or pass this legacy onto your children, to serve and heal others and the society we live in, It is your choice. Do what you happy. I have no expectation on the path you want to take. After all It's your journey, not mine to claim ownership.

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I as a mother, has no control over you. I can only raise you by sharing my life experiences, wisdom, know how, and some informations I get to learn and know of. To guide you and offer you the opportunities to grow and be a decent human being. I can not force, decide, act or control you to do anything against your own will.

 

When you get older as you ages you will know;

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You are your own savior.

No one can save you but yourself. No one can and no one may. You yourself must walk the path.  

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​I thank you for listening to your gut and being honest with your feelings.

 

Thank you for your trust in me by sharing your feelings, what you like and don't like. So we can figure it out together.

 

Thank you for changing your mind not to continue in industrial field. Your honesty save us a lot of time, energy and resources from doing something you do not feel safe, secure, thinking it might bring you happiness and material success.

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As you get older. You will learned there are thousands paths to climb up to the top of a mountain view. It does not matter what path and how long it might take you to get to that top view.

 

But once you get up there at the top. You will learned that It is quite boring, not as great and as fun as you once thought or imagine. Then you will want to climb a new mountain high, as your body yearning for another dopamine boost. 

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You will learned it is more enjoyable, fun and challenge while you're climbing along the path, not when you are at the top because you get to realized not everybody willing to be there with you even those you loved, and those who say they love you and care for you.

 

But in that boredom and lonesome moments, you will get to enjoy total freedom and inner peace without anyone dramas and madness.

 

And that same freedom and solitude will get you feel like an outcast. Will get you feel abandoned. Will get a lot of rocks throwing at you, wanting to take you down to their level because they compare themself to you while you simply doing you, stay in your own lane, focusing on the path you're taking.

 

When they see you're going up and up, higher and higher. They will feel left behind because of their own belief system, attitude, intentions and actions. Then they will want to get rid of you, because you trigger their demons, insecurity, fears, jealousy, victim mindset and self-sabotaging by comparing their belief and self-esteem to your success and hardships.

 

Because your focus and determination make them feel weak and small, as they compare themselves to you, letting their own monkey mind and belief system consume themselves, while you're focusing on your path, not them not their thoughts not their belief nor their feelings.

 

You simply doing you, letting everyone be happy where they are at and wanted to be, while you're busy climbing the mountain high.

 

But that self-control and focus you have held, will intimidated a lot of people from that lack of qualities within themselves.

 

You will learned along your path; some people will cheer you up quietly from a distant as they do not want to feel judged by those around them if they take your side. Because they do not feel safe and secure to show up for you and be there with you. Because you are not a conformist. Because you're too strong, too independent and too different. So they choose to do their bare minimum by cheering you from afar, wishing they could do more than just slipping their lips, having you in their thoughts and sending a quiet good wish your way.

 

You will learned, a very few people or perhaps none is willing to be there for you and with you. A few might willing to trade their time, energy, security and comforts for your uncertainty and unknown future.

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And you will learned, those who see your potentials and strength of how far you have reached, would feel entitled of your time, energy, resources and respect that they didn't even put any affords to earn. They will want you to own up their weakness, insecurity, burdens, incapable, hardships, belief systems, norms, standards, intentions, thoughts, attitudes, past actions, mistakes and laziness which is not yours to begin with.

 

But somehow want you to take ownership of all that for their own advantage, wanting your cake and eat it too. Thinking your time, energy and all that you have to offer somehow belong to them. Saying you're once a group member in the same social circles, that they have the right to claim your loyalty. That you should give them what they want or lack but they never reciprocate the same energy when you needed the most. 

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You will learned, honesty, sincerity and loyalty is a very expensive gift that you should not give it to anyone who do not see those values within you.

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You will learned the different between codependency and interdependency. You will learned codependency dynamic is very toxic for your well-being.

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And you will learned nobody is your friend, as many millionaires and influencers preaching and sharing their experiences with the younger generations on youtube channel.

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And you will learned, if you can not find anyone to walk with you, be like an elephant who roam the jungle alone but bring your wisdom with you, as the Buddha once said.

 

And you will learned as you ages, that is exactly you should do when you do not know what to expect. You just have to do what you have to do.

 

You will learned the first step is always the hardest. But just do it, like Nike's slogan.

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There is no right or wrong who you want to be, and which path you want to take. You have freedom to choose.

 

To have fun, to enjoy the rides or suffering from your own monkey minds.

 

To follow the mass. To compare yourself to others. To live under someone else standards and belief or be true to yourself. You have free will to choose. We're all have that choice, to practice self-love, self-sabotage or self-destructive.

 

If you ever get to be up there but feeling lonely as you have no true friend with you. That you want to have some fun to vanish your boredom. You can surely throw a rope down for your excitement or pull it back up for your own inner peace as you wish. The freedom is yours. We're all always do.

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But since you get to see the mountain top view. You get to taste your own medicine. Your get to befriend with your fears, insecurity, abandonment and inner strength along the path you took. You know now how it feels to be at the rock bottom as you've been down there before you get to your top.

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Along your paths, you already learned the lessons and knew all the struggles, trips and turns. Now you got some skills and you have learned who, what, where, when, how, and why you should let go and let god.

 

That you will learned you can not save anyone against their own willingness and acknowledgement but yourself. That all you can do is let them be happy where they are at.

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You knew now, not everybody can focus their breathing while hiking to the top.

 

You will learned who is your friend who is your frenemy. Who is your true supporter or an opportunist. Who is passive-aggressive or egotistic. Who is an energy vampires who is flying monkey. Who is an abuser, predator, or a true victim, survivor, warrior, true humanitarian, a hero, manipulator, sociopath, psychopath, narcissist and their enabler.

 

You will learned all these acts and characters through your hardships while trying to climb the mountain alone without group supports, trying to not fall apart nor bothered anyone.

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That once you are up and too far high. You will hear the echo of everyone's noise saying they know you, they are your friend, try to be your friend, wanted to get closer, to be your friend if you let them. Making up the story of what you do and don't, who you are and not.

 

Everybody will tell your stories, judging you when you are at your bottom rocks before you taking a leap of fate. Thinking they know you better than yourself.

 

They will tell your stories to anyone and everyone in their circles upon their own life experiences, norms, standards and belief system.

 

They even tell you who you are and who you are not, pointing fingers at you on the public front. We've seen this scenario happening to celebs, influencers and billionaire all the times, on and off social medias.

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But you should know that one's perception is a mere projection. A reflection of one own upbringings, belief system, attitudes, perceptions, life experiences, group influence, social norms and standards.

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It's not yours. Not your truth. Do not take that ownership thinking their reality is yours.

 

Do not take anything personal. Do not lose your self - focus. You do you, let them do theirs.

 

Let their karma (intentions, thoughts, words, actions) compensate their inputs.​ What they give, they shall receive. Good, bad, ugly, or sneaky. Let their energy speak their truth.

 

Do not let anyone projecting their selfishness, laziness and greed on your self-focus simply minding your own business. These are a two different things. And you will learned to notice the difference between the two as you walk your paths.

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There are two sides of the same coin to take. You want to be a co-creator or a destroyer it is your choice.

 

Both sides of the same coin will provide you some challenges, enjoyment, happiness, anxiety and sufferings while having human experiences on earth. No path is perfect or other vice. After all, it's nobody's journey. It's yours. Do what you happy.

 

You want to thrive and evolved. To cherish others along the path you take and be there with one another. Or to get there faster alone to leave behind your foot printed for the younger generations, or to blend in, get accepted, validated and comfortable. it's your choice. The freedom is yours.

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But you should know when to detach from thoughts, ego, self and others. And when to put all of that to rest.

 

You will learned we're all have free will to operate with positive energy or vice versa. It's your choice. Everybody get to choose their own path. The power is in your hands, not others'.

 

You will learned, no one can control anybody, have a say or judge you and anyone.

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You will learned, histories always repeat itself, no matter what said and done.

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You will learned life is more enjoyable and less stressed when you detach from expectations and outcome.

 

You will learned all you need is focus and breathing.

 

You will learned detachment is a top form virtue that very few people can handle.

 

You will learned detachment will liberate you, not bondage.

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You will learned you live in the world but not of the world.

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You will learned honesty, sincerity, trustworthy is a virtue; a pure form of energy and rare qualities on earth that will get you far and wide beyond one life time if you are aware of your own doings (karma) and surroundings. Knowing who to give in, who to withdraw your equation, for humanity sake.

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You will learned how your small gestures and focus intention can serve the society at large, that in return your pure energy will serve you and save you from harms and darkness.

 

That you will surprised how powerful your mind is. That you will be very cautious of your own thoughts and wishful thinking because you have learned and knew you're a very powerful being.

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And you will learned, just having you yourself is enough. You do not need more or less. Just you and your conscious is more than enough.

 

That you will learned, your thoughts can heal or kill. That you can even stop the rain or ask for if you focus and visualize.

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That you wish not to have negative thoughts as you know it will raise cortisol level in your system to harm yourself.

 

That you will learned high level of cortisol is simply your own doing (karma) from negative thoughts and bad intentions; what you put out, will come back to bite your ass with serious sickness and unfortunate circumstances.

 

So be mindful of your own monkey minds. Realize when it's coming, catch it, empty it, let it go as soon as you possibly can, for your own healthy body, mind and spirits.

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You will learned, to serve others you need to enlightened. To get that enlightened you will need to let go of everything you fear to lose.

 

And you will learned, who worth giving your time, energy, honesty, sincerity, loyalty, and love. Or take it back when their energy is too heavy or not reciprocated with yours.

 

You will learned karma (your intentions, thoughts, words and actions) is a real bitch as you aging. Whether a good karma or the opposite side of spectrum.

 

You will learned karma is a universal law that apply to all. No race, no age, no color, no gender, no religious to be considered.

 

Your good and bad deeds will determine your fate. You reap what you sow. That is just how energy work.

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If you noticed. Energy is very contagious. If you being friendly and smile, people trend to reflex that energy back at you.

 

But be very careful of those nice smiles, backhanded compliment, sweet talkers, politeness, fake kindness, fake compassionate, superiority complex, passive-aggressive, covert and vulnerable narcissist.

 

Be very careful when someone tell you they can help you. They don't mind to help you out. They will be there for you whenever you needed.

 

Sugar and Salt look alike.

You can only tell the different once you taste them in your mouth. So be observant and look closely before take them in. Do not let people take your kindness and friendliness for weakness.

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Be very careful of wolf in sheep's clothing, god complex, heroic and victim mentality.

 

Your gut feelings never lie. Your body is very intelligent. Your heart is very strong. The heart can vibrate its frequency to the moon and back. Your heart have radars, it can detect the good, bad, ugly and sneaky energy around you. Do not let others take your compassionate for granted. Be moderate and reciprocal.

 

As you ages, you will learned there is no point to be anything to please anyone.

 

You will learned you are here on earth to balance the energy being played in the past.

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You will learned, you are a mirror. You are here to reflex and introspec past events.

 

You will learned your task is to watch the shows, not to play, nor take any role. And when the show is over you can just leave the theater. Knowing ah.. just another moment I could waste my time and breathing to kill the boredom.

 

Be detach not bondage with any story telling.

 

You will learned when and who to put up your ego. To keep yourself safe from harm and negative energy. When and with who to put your ego down to rest for your own peace of mind.

 

You will learned it feels so much better to be a warrior in the garden, not a gardener in the war.

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As you ages, you will learned everything on earth is meaningless until you give it a meaning.

 

And you will learned there are so many things we have created, all for nothingness.

 

You will learned human's behavior are just like a mad dog having fun, chasing after its own tail.

 

And you will learned, all things on earth are bipolars including humans and their flesh. If you look around you will realized every things on earth is bipolars; left-right, in-out, up-down, top-bottom, black-white, positive-negative, feminine-masculine, god-devil, as above so below, etc.

 

Bipolars are everywhere and quite common if you look with a boarder perspective. I do not see anything wrong with unstablized energy, trying to get to its transformation.

 

You will learned, water will not exist without hydrogen and oxygen combining the dance to create new element, energy and substance.

 

If you notices the nature around you. Bipolars is simply a union dance of the same thing on opposite direction.

 

Bipolars is just someone's made up "pointing finger" perception. A narrow mindset, short sight idea. Making up the story to make more money with drugs, fooling the fools who think humans are smarter than mother nature.

 

You will learned, humans are smart, very smart.

 

You will learned, bipolars is just a union dance of the same spinning coin that try to find its stable state. That you can see this energy dance everywhere in the nature.

 

At my age of 55 years on earth. I can not think of one thing that is not bipolars. Nothing on earth is unipolar. Even our earth is bipolars. She has two poles. North and South.

 

I do not see anything unique as we've been taught to believe. I only see a repeating patterns of action-reaction, copy and paste, monkey see monkey do, so to speak.

 

You will learned, nothing really unique, new or excited as we been taught to believe when we were young. You will learned earth plain is quite dull and boring.

 

If you conscious enough. You will know; bipolars is just another face of Yin-Yang energy, a two sides of the same coin with opposite role play that somebody give it a meaning. A label, to be a bad guy or a good guy. Who on earth giving all that energy this opposition role play and labels? Humans? Yes?

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You will learned as you ages, that you task is not to be the good guy or the bad one in any story.

 

You will learned your task while being on earth is to balance your energy upon the circumstance so you don't trip yourself over or get off balance.

 

You will learned, any existence on earth need balance or equilibrium or stable state of being. Whatever the label humans give it a name. Every little single things on earth need balance. Starting at the mitochondrial in your cell;- the homeostasis.

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You will learned, you are one with the mother nature. Your body is your guru. She could teach you anything and everything you need to know if you conscious enough and pay attention.

 

You will learned, how you perceive the situation and your surrounding is your reality, your truth.

 

You get to choose to see them with the light or the darkness. Positive or negative. Motivated or depressed. To encourage yourself or to suffer. To liberate or bondage. It's your choice.

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You will learned, if you give yourself a night or two to sleep over any questions you need answer before making any decision. You will get the right answer for yourself.

 

You will learned, sleep meditation during your bedtime for 15 minutes each day is a very healthy practice for your body, mind and soul.

 

you will learned, meditation will give you the answer for your highest good, to guide you along your paths. You did this while in bed since you're very young. You know your intuition is very strong and always on point. More so than me because you started at an earlier age. Keep listening to your inner guidance. You will find the answer within, not without.

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As you get older, you will learned honesty, sincerity and loyalty is a very expensive gift that you should not give it to anyone and everyone, especially the ones who do not value them and what you have to offer. Those people will drained you, wasting your time, energy and resources if you're not being selective of your surrounding.

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​And I hope you pass on these virtues and 5 precepts to your children if you ever have any. For your own good and those around you, far and wide after you left the planet.

 

These virtues and light energy you carry, will imprinted in your DNA and bring forth over life times.

 

So be caution when you intimate with anyone. Pick and choose wisely, as you will transfer and imprinted DNA on each others.

 

You do not want toxic DNA or as less toxic as possible in your system, so you don't transfer that DNA to your offspring, do you?

 

And please alway carry 2 condoms and 5 precepts with you at all times whether your body yearning for happy hormones or not.

 

You don't know who is who, what is their intention and hind agenda. Who carry mental illness within. You will not know until you let them in your circles. So be aware. Do not let your hormones hijack your intelligent.

 

It's better be safe than sorry with the consequences of your own doings (karma;- intentions, thoughts, words, actions). You do not know who carry STD or any diseases and mental illness within them.

 

Sugar and salt look alike that you will know what is which only when you take them in your mouth. Look closely. Pay attention of your surrounding.

 

No matter what environment you are in. You need to grow some thorns. Especially if you wanted to be a healer, to serve others. You need your guard up. Not to use them to hurt anyone. But using them to defend yourself from entitled, greedy and toxic environments when need be.

 

But you also need to know with who and when to let your guard down. What is the red flags, what is not. If you tune in. Your inner being, your heart will tell you what best for you.

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You need to learn to balance the energy being played, so you do not get trip over and off balance.

 

For the greater good of mankind, your self and those around you. You need to play both roles; a healer and a killer, a coin that has two sides. A warrior in your own garden. Not a gardener in someone else's war.

 

You need to learn to be your own peace maker, not a destroyer.

 

No one can save you but yourself.

No one can and no one may.

You yourself must walk the path.

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Learn from your mum. Not to follow her mistakes and missteps. Not to excuses that you got her and his DNA imprinted within you that you can't change anything. You can feel her scar tissues and learn from them, so you can heal others, do better and be better than her, for your own happiness and future endeavours.

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If you want to find out who you are at your core. Keep meditating. You will get to know a lot of informations and answer to your questions when your mind is in total stillness.

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I as your mother, can only do so much to prepare you for your journey. No matter what it took me to get us here. I am grateful and feeling very lucky to have you and Pol, and be here with you both.

 

Thank you for staying true to yourself, speaking your mind, saying no to electro-mechanic field at the very early stage, not dragging us along to waste our time, energy, resources, everything in between and everyone's efforts to support your success. Thank you for your trust; sharing your feelings, being honest, clear, and direct with me, Albert. Keep it up.